Thursday, 3 September 2009

A complete and total....

Self-sabotage.....where does it come from? Does it lay innately dormant in us until fate decides it is time for it to rear its ugly head?

The worst kind of self-sabotage is seemingly positive sabotage. Inspired to start a new project however the truth is you are now drifting away from what was formerly occupying every second of your time and energy for the last 18 months. Why now? When things have come this close? Is it divine intervention, fate or just my fear pre-empting something that I've wanted all my life and is on the cusp of being attained. Unable to cope with the realities of where things could lead and how massively my life would be affected, I pre-empt success and glory with a massive shift and loss of interest and focus. Something new, shiny and more of a challenge has come my way. Yes, this shall be my demon from now on. This shall be what drives my soul into the heavens but my personal life, family life and financial life into deep, deep despair.

You know what I've come to realise. Different faces but same damn hell.

My soul is composed of:

Therefore it will never be free.

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